I sometimes meet new people (isn't that a truly strange, 2021-type sentence? I used to meet new people ALL THE TIME, it was in fact my job!!!) and one of those new people recently asked me what it was that I find the most difficult to adjust to when I move to a new country.
I think I was speechless for about 20 seconds (those who know me, know that is an INSANE amount of time for me to be speechless) and then I sort of babbled that I found the language barrier the most difficult in Germany. Which was slightly true but also slightly stupid, to be honest.
It got me thinking, though. I've been a nomad for the past 13 years, with a foreign partner for 14. So, what are the things I find the easiest, and the things that I would never adjust to? In random order...
1. British people have a strange relationship with tea/sometimes coffee. Most British people I have met seem to be compelled to have a hot drink of some description stuck to their hand for most of the day. My husband drinks upwards of 8 mugs of tea (milk, no sugar) each day. I do not understand this. I mean, I have one cup of coffee in the morning (mostly because I was told by a doctor I should, when I was 25, to help out with a congenital low blood pressure situation). I occasionally have a cup of tea when I feel particularly cold (come to think of it, it happens rather a lot in Scotland! I think I may be onto something here!), but it's about once a week and it's DEFINITELY not what my husband drinks. I will have an occasional Earl Grey, and herbal infusions sometimes (I love turmeric, and fennel, and anis seed, anything spicy). But I don't have a compulsion to continuously sip out of a burning hot cup. It's also not happening in any of the other countries I've lived in (Romania, Bulgaria, Mauritius, Germany). I don't think it's a cultural bandwagon I'll ever hop onto. Segue...
2. Milk in tea. Also a taste I will never acquire. I also stopped liking cow's milk in my coffee. I find nut milks (hazelnut or almond) infinitely tastier in my coffee. The fact that nut milks have far fewer calories than traditional dairy is just an added bonus. Admittedly, I have met people who drink their tea black. But not very many.
3. Ice in cold drinks. This is an American thing and although I've never lived in the US, I've visited and it was one thing that drove me absolutely nuts. I spent most of my time in restaurants in bars asking for an empty glass so I can drain whatever little bit of actual drink I was served, out of the enormous pile of ice it came on. About 80% of the time I was brought a glass piled high...with ice. Sigh.
4. German people's compulsion to educate the ignorant. I'm afraid I caught this little cultural quirk! Berlin inhabitants (I've no real knowledge of other Germans, actually) have no qualms stepping up to complete strangers and giving them a right telling off if they do something that bends the rules. Like jaywalking - even if it's 9pm and the street is completely empty of cars for miles in both directions. You're supposed to wait until the little man with the swanky hat turns green. Rules are rules and are made to be followed. I found it intrusive and rude to start with, but I eventually understood where it was coming from and I quite liked it.
5. Mauritians' obsession with rice. It is the staple of their diet and they have no comprehension of someone who can take it or leave it. In my case, mostly leave it. I am definitely not a carbs person, and if I must have carbs, I'll take the crusty corner of a baguette over anything else. It was a fine line whilst living in Mauritius, between feeling that I'll explode if I see one more grain of the bland white cereal and keeping a polite composure in front of gracious hosts. A large part of their society has a cult for a style of dishes called Biryani; I am sure they're delicious but they are one of the chapters of our Mauritian life that I'll not want to relieve anytime soon. Which brings me to...
6. Mauritian Cuisine. The original, pure FUSION cuisine, as they like to brag. And they are spot on. It's exhilarating stuff for a foodie like me and one of the things I miss the most about Mauritius. With some sizable exceptions (rice being one, as described above; dried salty cod and corned beef being two others), I still dream of Mauritian cooking. Probably one of the best dishes my mouth has ever tasted being a dhal puri (chickpea flour flatbread) filled with octopus curry (carri ourite) as sold by a small beach shack on the public beach of Grand Gaube.
7. Some British home quirks. Like carpeted bathrooms; washing machines in kitchens; homes with no showers (or at most the puny dribbling shower over bath thing); lights that turn on by pulling a string hanging from the ceiling (particularly useful when you are spending your first night ever in the in-laws' house and you need to hit the loo in the middle of the night! How on Earth I was supposed to guess where the 'switch'). And my ultimate, the two separate taps in sinks. I do not understand how one is supposed to wash their hands. You either freeze them or scald them. (The possibility that someone might have intended me to mix the water in the basin fills me with untold hygiene nightmares). I mean, I think I understand the evolution of plumbing and the reason why cold and hot water pipes were separate at some point in time. But this is 2021 and they still sell the things NEW in the shops. Which leads me to...
8. The British people's firm belief in DIY. As far as I can gather, most people think there's no need for a professional...insert whatever handyman-type job you can think of. Plumber? Electrician? Painter-decorator? Bah. Those only exist to pander for truly lazy people, or people with more money than sense (my husband's actual real life opinion, not my snarky remark, folks!). Walls looking a bit grubby, or you're fed up with the 90's 'feature wall'? Head to B&Q (or whatever, I'm no partial to any names!), grab a bucket of paint and a random roller, and git at it. Whilst I admire the 'just do it' spirit, as well as the 'make do and mend' mentality, having recently spent a huge chunk of time looking for our first ever (owned) home, I can say one thing for sure. There is a serious reason for most people to let the professionals handle home décor and renovations. The reason being that when you do it yourself, it really TRULY shows. Not in a nice way either, by the way. Folks, there ARE exceptions (after all, you don't really need a degree in Physics to figure out how to paint a wall) but overall, with these things PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT and I'd much rather pay someone who has had time to practice on somebody else's walls than give it a go myself.
To be continued...
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